Monday, January 23, 2012

Round 2
…and the steroids win

The first round of chemo went very smoothly, I was so impressed by the staff at Methodist. We met with the welcome team, a nutritionist, the “Look good, feel good” representative, not to mention the chaplain, who is my good friend Sandy Londa and the nurse. It was a busy day and even with Benadryl I was awake most of the time we were there.
So, I promised myself, round two, I would sleep for a majority of the time. Before the chemo begins, they give you a variety of medicines to ensure that you won’t have an allergic reaction and to keep the nausea at bay. I was ready for the Benadryl this time, ready for the “whoosh” of sleepiness that comes when they inject it in the IV. Ready to sleep. Or so I thought. As the nurse injects the Benadryl, I immediately feel the woozy, peaceful, sleepy rush, but we don’t stop there. She immediately follows that thought of sleep with the steroids; those pesky meds that make you jumpy and keep you up.
I leaned back and tried to sleep – no luck, my eyes just kept popping. As the day progressed, I became more and more awake. I thought about Jesus’ words, as he told the parable of the ten bridesmaids: “keep awake for you do not know neither the day nor the hour.” All ten of the bridesmaids slept but some had come prepared with extra oil in their lamps.
I emailed my colleagues, I emailed my friends, I read my book and finished it, I looked for things to do. I got up and walked the halls, pulling my bags of chemo with me. Everyone else was sound asleep in their rooms, quietly letting the chemo do its work. Except me. The nurses asked where I was going. “Just walking,” I said, “I can’t sit still.” As I walked, I prayed quietly for each person’s room I passed, praying for strength and healing and health.
I also thought about those bridesmaids and how they would have liked me. While they slept, I could have gone into to town, bought the oil, filled the flasks and trimmed the wicks. Of course, that’s not what the parable of the ten bridesmaids is about. Jesus is reminding each of us to fill our hearts and minds with his love and grace. Maybe that’s just what I need to do when the steroids win!